Publishing my first book was tough. At the time it seemed a gargantuan task. Writing the final in a series of seven poems, divinely inspired, suggesting a path to awakening, a path of enlightenment, required me to grow beyond the person I was to the person I felt I was destined to be.

But writing book number eleven might be even more difficult. Dashed expectations, bruised hopes. I had dreamed of only one thing, above all others, to become a successful full-time writer. Ten books and ten years later and I’m still not there. I’ve sold perhaps 200 books, given away over 2,000. Lots of people have read my poetry, my blog posts, and my inspirational books. I’ve heard many times how I’ve touched people with my words. That’s somewhat heartening. But financially, from a business perspective, my writing career has been a total failure.... Read More »

Hey, God.

It’s me, Steve. Thanks for another day to live here on earth. I think I feel a lot better today than I have in recent months, and years.

I’m having trouble reconciling the nature of life here. On one hand, Jesus said, “Ask and receive.” On the other, I have this sense that I ought not ask for things for only myself. Lots of people who seem spiritual say that I shouldn’t ask for things for myself.

Have I bought into a false belief that has kept me from receiving your good gifts?

I know I worry too much. Is it my responsibility to train my mind and heart to not worry? Or is that something you can help with? Or is it some shared thing, where I have to do what I can before you’ll help? That doesn’t sound quite right to me. Were that true, wouldn’t Jesus have said something... Read More »

How do we build faith?

Faith is a gift; faith is continually expanded in a state of grace.

How do we then achieve and maintain a state of grace?

Grace, by its very definition, is freely given. Grace needn’t be deserved nor earned. Nonetheless, grace, like any gift, can only be received by a willing and ready receiver. We first open our minds and hearts to God. Then we open our mouths and ask. Finally, we open our arms to receive.

Regardless of religion or specific belief system, the process is the same. We set aside our selfish natures and seek some higher power. We ask that higher power, who we seek to continually know more fully and intimately, for the gift, the grace, of faith. We start small. None have ever begun the path with perfect faith. Few ever achieve lasting and consistent faith. That’s perfectly okay. God doesn’t insist on perfection, only... Read More »

Dear God,

I seek your refuge. Please accept me. Please forgive me. Please allow me to enter into your peace. I am nothing without you. Outside your calm rest is only chaos. And the chaos has tortured my wounded spirit. But my spirit cannot be wounded, not really. My heart is wounded, my mind, lost and confused; but my spirit is, and has always been, perfect.

Jesus, save me, a lost and wandering sinner.

I have become lost in the vastness and mystery of you. Let me be found in your perfect simplicity.

Jesus, lead me, a lost and wandering sinner.

The raging seas have captured my attention, impeded my certainty of your divine pervasiveness. Embrace me.

Jesus, hold me, a scared and wandering sinner.

In my wisdom, I have forgotten your perfect simplicity. Move my hands. Guide my words. Fill my heart.

Jesus, fill me, a prodigal, returning.

In my arrogant understanding, I have lost... Read More »

I feel utterly powerless. I try so hard yet breathe so little. The hour of discontent has stretched relentlessly, impossibly, for decades. I am my father and my father is me. Who is the greater coward? He, who took his life? Or me who ran from mine? I have grandchildren I have never met. Only one of my nine children have I seen in the past two years. My discord I keep tucked away, hidden I think, but perhaps many see my secrets, sense my true nature.

I was lost and withered most of my life. I knew little of love and joy and fulfillment. And peace? I knew not at all.

I descend timidly down the dark staircase, knowing only vaguely what I will discover. I am drawn to my calling mistress; her song is my drug, my addiction, my yeast, my prominent ingredient. I can pretend no longer. The Light... Read More »

God, I need a miracle. 

Maybe I need to work harder.

Tell me what to do, God. 

Maybe I need to love myself more.

Show me the way.

Maybe I need to have more faith.

Please.

I so wish I could have better survival skills.

What would you have me do?

I feel like I’m sinking.

I’m begging for a miracle. 

Have I taken wrong turns? made bad choices? Am I being punished for being lazy? for my weak faith? What’s the purpose in my endless suffering?

Tell me God; use my hands to give my your words.

What will you do today for my glory? What gifts will you bestow upon a waiting and wailing world? Be not distracted by the naysayers and ne’er-do-wells. Let my light shine through you. Let your mouth sing my song. Let your... Read More »

There are many abstract and obtuse philosophies and precepts of spirituality. It’s often useful and valuable to simplify these principles and to make them more concrete and practical so that we may incorporate them into our daily lives. Spiritual practice is far more fruitful than spiritual theory and thought.

• Be loving: Practice kindness and empathy in all affairs with others as well as self. What we receive is a reflection of what we give. Life rewards us with kindness and respect when we give kindness and respect to our fellow participants of life.
• Seek truth: Be willing to let go of old habits and beliefs in order to continue learning better ways to both think about and live life.
• Know thyself: Trust that the journey is not ended; use imagination and quiet contemplation to find what makes you happy and what you really want so that you may go and get it.
• Forgive: Change... Read More »

I've been asking myself a question for months: “What if I simply started to live my ideal life?”

The question was sparked primarily by Earl Nightingale and his talk, The Strangest Secret. In it he quotes six steps by Dr. David Harold Fink:

1. Set yourself a definite goal.
2. Quit running yourself down.
3. Stop thinking of all the reasons why you cannot be successful and instead think of all the reasons why you can.
4. Trace your attitudes back through your childhood and discover where you first got the idea that you could not be successful if that is the way you've been thinking.
5. Change the image you have of yourself by writing out a description of the person you would like to be.
6. Act the part of the successful person you have decided to become.

Steps five and six suggest writing specifically who I'd like to be, the ideal me, and then start living that way.

Seems simple. it is... Read More »

I am afraid of being vulnerable. On the surface, I know that I am attractive, intelligent, diligent, and passionately creative. But beneath the surface, I am, in large measure, a confused little boy led by impulses and the need to feel and appear bigger than I am.

I’ve made some important and valuable changes in myself and my life this year. I’ve grown in confidence and focus. I’ve become more willing to speak my truth without fear of reprisal. And I see the benefits, the results. I live in a nice house, not far from the beach. I own my own business. I’m fulfilling my dream of writing novels.

But still, there’s a hole. There’s something missing. And today I believe that something is the willingness to be courageously vulnerable, to take down the walls, and to let others see and know the real me.

Vulnerability is a challenge for me because it... Read More »

Prioritize. Don’t envy; admire. Accept everything. It’s your life; make the best of it!

I often wonder why I’m not living the life I’d like to live. I’m clear on what it looks like. More writing, more exercise, more confidence. Less worry, more faith, less disappointment, more trust. Less distraction, more focus, better prioritization, being the best me possible.

I am blessed with many gifts, intellect, kindness, faith, creativity, and lots of others. My life is better today, in most respects, than it’s ever been. I live in a nice house, a mile from the beach. I have a sporty convertible, lots of electronics, books, food, fine wine and Scotch.

I have no health problems, good eyesight, a sharp and clear mind. The odds are good I’ll live many more years.

So what’s the problem? It’s subtle. It’s that I know well that I’m not living to my potential. I’ve published eight books but... Read More »