November 20, 2013 9:13 am EST
It’s me, Steve. Thanks for another day to live here on earth. I think I feel a lot better today than I have in recent months, and years.
I’m having trouble reconciling the nature of life here. On one hand, Jesus said, “Ask and receive.” On the other, I have this sense that I ought not ask for things for only myself. Lots of people who seem spiritual say that I shouldn’t ask for things for myself.
Have I bought into a false belief that has kept me from receiving your good gifts?
I know I worry too much. Is it my responsibility to train my mind and heart to not worry? Or is that something you can help with? Or is it some shared thing, where I have to do what I can before you’ll help? That doesn’t sound quite right to me. Were that true, wouldn’t Jesus have said something more like, “You have to grow up and become disciplined in your thoughts and prayers before you can enter God’s grace. Once you’re filled with faith and have dismissed all worry and fear, then you’ll be welcome.” That seems to be the complete opposite of my idea of grace. I don’t feel like I have the power to be freed from worry and fear. I need your help.
So, I guess that’s what I’m asking for. Please help free me from worry and fear and fill me with faith and trust in you.
I want to be closer to you. I want to hear your voice. I want to know your will. I want to live and love and create as you would have me live and love and create.
Please, God. I can’t do it alone. I need you. Alone, I’m lost. In you, I’m found. Find me. Hold me. Keep me.