August 31, 2013 9:53 am EDT
Prioritize. Don’t envy; admire. Accept everything. It’s your life; make the best of it!
I often wonder why I’m not living the life I’d like to live. I’m clear on what it looks like. More writing, more exercise, more confidence. Less worry, more faith, less disappointment, more trust. Less distraction, more focus, better prioritization, being the best me possible.
I am blessed with many gifts, intellect, kindness, faith, creativity, and lots of others. My life is better today, in most respects, than it’s ever been. I live in a nice house, a mile from the beach. I have a sporty convertible, lots of electronics, books, food, fine wine and Scotch.
I have no health problems, good eyesight, a sharp and clear mind. The odds are good I’ll live many more years.
So what’s the problem? It’s subtle. It’s that I know well that I’m not living to my potential. I’ve published eight books but I have many more aching to be written. I’ve shot thousands of amazing photographs but lack the confidence to call myself an artist. I own a business that’s healthy but not thriving. The problem is I settle for good. I settle for mediocrity. The problem is that while I often talk about greatness and share moments of greatness in the form of my writing, my programming, and my photography, those moments are short-lived.
I could blame it on distractions, for there are many. Or I could blame it on laziness, but that’s not really true either; I work hard most days. The real problem is both deeper and simpler. The real problem is a low self-worth — a lack of belief in myself and my gifts and talents, a lack of trust, both in myself and in the universe.
I know there’s not likely a simple fix. Life is a process. And my thought patterns have been with me for a long time. (I’ll be fifty in December.) It takes time to let go of beliefs, time and work.
I don’t blame anyone. My childhood wasn’t great but nor was it particularly bad. I’ve known hardships but I’ve also known great joy. It’s been a good life thus far, and for that I’m grateful. I simply want more. I want to love and trust myself more so that I’ll have the confidence to create at the highest level at which I’m able, with a recognition that today’s highest level is not tomorrow’s — we exist in a rising river.
Less worry, more trust. Less fear, more love. Less fretful procrastination, more focused creativity.