My last cigarette was Friday night. And I had only one Friday. So only one cigarette since I bought the vaporizer thingy, Thursday around seven p.m. Totally smoke free for 38 hours. Only one cigarette in the past 62 hours. And it’s been pretty easy. I’m still getting the relief from vaping, and the nicotine. And I’m breathing much easier, not coughing hardly at all, and my taste and ability to taste are returning.

I hadn’t really planned it. I’d thought about stopping at that vape store for months, but didn’t know I would until I did, and didn’t know what to expect. And even after I bought it I wasn’t planning on quitting. I was thinking of cutting back, and maybe quitting sometime this year. But I found I had no need to smoke with the vaporizer, even during a tough day at work. Just one short slip, a single... Read More »

It begins as a curiosity. An interest. We write a little, and find we enjoy it. In time, we share what we’ve written with others. We find we enjoy that, too, especially when those with whom we share seem to like what we’ve written.

With practice, we find that it’s not only enjoyable, but we’re actually pretty good at it. We share with a slightly larger audience, at a writers’ group, on a blog, on Facebook.

We enlarge our dreams: bestseller, acclaim and fame, money.

We submit to magazines, to publishers, we self-publish.

We learn the process.

We fail.

Many times.

The real writers continue.

Until one day, it occurs to us, the real reason we write. We write, quite simply, because we... Read More »

Servant leadership is choosing to value others’ dreams, fulfillment, and opinions as highly as our own. It is the consistent recognition and elevation of the truth that there is value and greatness in every person we would seek to lead and influence.

Servant leaders understand the value of deference. We surround ourselves with people smarter and more talented than we are in their individual domains and trust them and empower them to shine.

Servant leadership requires faith, immense faith, in the knowledge that our endeavors have purpose. In that faith, we are endowed with the mettle to surrender. We understand fully, with humility, that our vision is larger than we are; we ask for and accept help, both corporeal and divine.

How can we best serve and influence... Read More »

I put little stock in the ideals of S.M.A.R.T. goal setting. I love goals, and set and achieve them all the time. But Specific:, perhaps, but not so specific that it doesn’t leave room for flexibility. Measurable: perhaps again, but too much emphasis on the metrics dilutes the actual goals. Achievable: no thanks; I like my goals to be not quite attainable so that I need stretch (think Wright Brothers, Edison, et al).... Read More »

Am I overly obsessed with the ideal of becoming the ideal me?

Who is he, really?

He’s me, set free. He’s me, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He is constantly changing, slowly, deliberately, incrementally. He learns from every misstep and grows through every misfortune. He has a huge heart, burdened by the sadness and fear he encounters in others, and a soaring spirit, bursting with fresh and... Read More »

I looked at the videos and early reviews and predictions for the new Apple Watch. Why is not an iWatch? I suppose they are going for a bit more class. This is a real watch, they likely said in their brainstorming sessions, not only tech, but elegance. I’m not feeling like it’s going to be a huge success. Near as I can tell, only about 20% of their target demographic wears watches. I think it will be great for a few technophiles and for fitness junkies. But that’s only maybe 5% of the population. So their US market, 5% of 20-30 year olds, amounts to maybe 3 million units, not the 20-30 million that seems to be the hope. I’m in the technophile group, but I see no valid reason to own one of these new devices unless I join CrossFit again and decide to be hyper-aware of my fitness.... Read More »

• If I want it, I will have it.
• If I don't see it, it isn't there.
• I know what love is when I feel it.
• I like to be happy.
• I like people who like when I am happy.
• Life is fun.
• Chocolate... Read More »

I’m hesitant to start writing. Part of the hesitation is procedural. I don’t want to junk up my iCloud with a bunch of unfinished novels. On the other hand though, I don’t want to start a novel here, in my journal, because it feels like too little commitment.

I judge myself, asking if I really have the drive to write a book if I’m scared of the relatively trivial risk of littering my computer/iCloud with a bunch of files.

What if i decide to celebrate every unfinished work? Each of them was good practice. Any of them I may one day pick up and start anew and possibly even finish. None of them is a failure.

It’s like training for a marathon. Training for a marathon doesn’t involve running twenty-six miles every day, but instead... Read More »

There is an apparent gulf between the concepts of acceptance and growth. On the one hand, perfect acceptance says that both you and the world are perfect. On the other, embracing growth and change is a desire to change yourself and the world.

Would we change that which is perfect?

But that is not the right question.

The question presupposes that you and the world are static. Neither is true. We live in a world,... Read More »

Pastor Kim,

Thank you for your open heart, your open doors.

It’s sometimes hard to to go back after a time away. What will they think? What will they say? How will it feel? Am I wearing the right clothes? Should I bring my Bible? Is it the right Bible for this church? What if I’m late? What if I’m too early? Will I be judged? Questioned? Or welcomed?

What if?

I could have stayed home. I could have gone to a different church. I could have fretted and procrastinated and decided to wait another week, another month, another year.

As I unzipped the cover on my Bible, I saw some flyers from the church. From 2009. It’s been nearly five years. More shame. I don’t deserve to go back after so long, I thought.

But God nudged me.... Read More »