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Removal of Envy

Dec 13, 2016

Envy is a result of competitiveness. But what is the value of competing? Have I not stopped being combative, divisive, and coarse? Is there some reason inside I must win? Will it prove that I am somehow worthy?

But I am worthy! That I know, simply because I am a loved child of a loving God. Regardless what I do or do not do and regardless of whether I “win” or “lose” some... Read More »

Wake, Today, Wake

Sep 14, 2016

There is not a single atom in you that is not perfect, not the smallest impulse of subatomic energy flowing divinely through your true essence.

You are. Think about that. You. Are.

You are. You exist. You are both connected to the Divine Flowing Glory of Existence and you are utterly and wonderfully unique.

Every breath, every beat of your choice, every thought of your heart, every glimmering star-shine twinkle of your fantastic imagination—each and every one—is the result of a perfect choice. Hence: destiny, fate.

You are your creation, destined to... Read More »

Transcending the Noise

Aug 21, 2016

Nine hours yesterday. Over seventy for the week. I’ve found my groove and learned some secrets. Mostly, it’s about simply deciding that nothing will stop me from being productive. And it’s about diving in early, before the brain has time to get all worried about the bullshit.

It’s removing myself from the noise. Or transcending the noise. Or getting pissed about the noise, and using that anger... Read More »

A Balanced Approach to Balance

Aug 8, 2016

Here’s my truth. I’m still afraid to shine. I self-medicate with distractions, reading and Netflix mostly, and give myself little time to actually enjoy life in solace and sensation because I’m still scared I won’t be able to live my dreams.

But part of the bitch of it is that I *am* living my dreams, at least many of them. I’ve not smoked in six months, I’m drinking lots of water and I’m eating healthy. I write lots, over half a million words this year.

But I push myself increasingly harder. And I wear down and wear out and fizzle. When I wrote a hundred thousand words in a month I wanted to write a hundred and twenty the next. When I lost two inches from my waistline, I wanted to lose three more, and fast. Faster, faster, faster until I get overwhelmed and then just say fuck it and lose most... Read More »

Take my shirt, thief! And my serenity...

Aug 6, 2016

It gets more and more curious, more and more impossibly fucking ridiculous. Mother fucking Ryan is asleep on the couch. Snoring. With the TV on.

I’m feeling very angry today. A little confused, too.

What did Jesus say about thieves? If someone steals your coat, give them your shirt, too?

Well, it’s pretty clear in Luke Chapter 6 (NIV):

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is... Read More »

What is Magic?

Aug 3, 2016

What is magic? Changing what must be.

What must be? What is decided must be.

Who decides? For most the answer is God, nature, or chance. But for some, the answer is “We do.” We create our reality. We create the physical laws which govern our existence by a shared choice to do so.

So, to work a miracle or to perform magic is simply a matter of transcending the hive mind and deciding to make something different,... Read More »

Life is a Beach

Aug 3, 2016

Many of my old habits don’t work for me any longer. When I decide to play small and whine that the world is unfair, when I look with desirous longing on what I have not yet, when I act as if what I dream will not manifest, when I pretend to be incapable of understanding the mysteries of life, at all those times I am turning away from truth, my truth, and then the larger me... Read More »

Cold Trauma, Hot Coffee, Warm Breeze

Jul 21, 2016

I’ve had times when I felt positive, upbeat, hopeful, in love with life and the world. It’s still my wish. Lately though, it’s been tough. So many lost and wandering souls, lashing out, trying to take by force of will and word what’s not theirs.

Not for an instant saying I’m better than them; I make mistakes every day. And I doubt, get scared, worry, reminisce in my trauma. But I try diligently to simply do the right thing, the kind thing, the loving thing. I forgive as quickly as I can and follow the path that’s before me, sharing my heart, my art, my gifts. And then I’m minding my own business, creating this or that, for myself, for a client, for the world at large, and bam! Some jackass leaves a stupid comment, or some jerk honks his horn on the nearby road. It blares with his anger. I... Read More »

YOU are Enough

Jul 20, 2016

Open your soul.

You are perfection, dawning, expanding, living.

There is nothing you need do but be YOU!

One in seven billion; that's who you are. Is that not not enough?

Laugh, dance, leap, rest, run, walk, stop, soar; it matters not--you are perfection.

Notwithstanding the doubts, the judgments, the drama the chaos and the the little moments when you feel you don't quite belong. Let me assure you: You belong. You are here for a reason. You are here for a purpose. Find it!

Find your reason... Read More »

Return of the Giggle

Jul 3, 2016

Over the past ten years or more, I’ve written several instruction manuals, maps showing the way to heaven, to enlightenment.

So… Why the fuck am I not enlightened?

Umm… Hmm…

(Giggling…)

The return of the giggle
The return to truth
The return to life
Grasping the key, inserting it, turning it
Twisting the knob, and a slight push on the door
Light floods through the thin... Read More »

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