December 13, 2012 2:53 pm EST
I know you want to say it. Just like I do. Not every day, to be sure. And not every moment of even the worst days. But it’s there. It’s in all of us. The anger that’s a natural and healthy reaction to being hurt.
Sometimes it’s little things. An aggressive driver. An annoying spam email message received. A client being pedantic and patronizing and under-appreciative. Spilling coffee on your pristine shirt on the way to work. An overbearing boss, or significant other, or parent, or child, or friend.
We recognize, sometimes in the same instant as the anxiety-provoking cause, sometimes hours or days later, that it’s really, in the grand scheme of things, not a big deal. There are no big deals, says one old axiom.
And yet, the anger is real. We strive to not let it get to us. We strive to forgive and forget. We want to believe we have somehow evolved beyond the need for so base an emotion as anger. But for most of us, the anger is indeed real.
Anger, based on fear, is a reasonable and human reaction to being harmed in some way, sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally. And when we experience anger, when we feel anger, we have two choices. And from those two choices spring other choices. But the basic two choices that allow us to continue in our daily lives are to suppress or to express.
When we suppress our emotions we are not accepting our present truth. When we suppress our emotions we are choosing denial. When we suppress our emotions we are lying to ourselves.
So the best course is to express. Here is the power of fuck you. Fuck you is the expression of anger.
Of course, in a civilized and mostly kind society, screaming fuck you is not a reasonable response. Nonetheless, we can write out our fuck you in a personal journal. Or we can scream our fuck you not with voice but with imagination. Try it. See yourself at the top of a mountain or alone on a desert island or in a broad field of corn. And see yourself shouting the words. FUCK YOU! Does that not make you smile? Feel a little better? Thought so.
Love and giggles,
P.S. Fuck you.