October 11, 2012 1:54 pm EDT
The funny thing about growing is that it’s sometimes difficult to see ourselves as the new people we’ve become.
We’ve all got insecurities. We’ve created these false views of ourselves based on what we’ve heard people say to and about us. And what we’ve said to and about ourselves. I see myself, not as who I am today, but to a great extent as who I was.
And so, I measure my abilities and limits based on past performance, abilities, and relationships. I am the mirror, in my limited thoughts born days past, of days past.
But this is not my present truth. This is not my present reality.
For me, these old beliefs manifest and actualize as current predispositions and views. For example, I’ve never seen myself as being well educated, as in fact, I’m not. At least not in the traditional manner. I never attended college. Not one day. I’d planned to, in my teens, but my life turned out differently than my plans. Married at eighteen, fathering nine children, I never had the opportunity. So in this respect, I have often felt a little inferior to others who were afforded higher education. This is the root of my insecurity in dealing with people with advanced degrees. I believe I’m not as smart as they are; I fear I won’t be able to keep up intellectually. I cower in my fear. My fear impedes my willingness to see myself as equal.
The truth is I’m fairly well read, have a keen intellect, and extraordinary abilities in many areas. The truth is I am as intelligent as anyone I’ve ever met. The truth is that I can keep up, on an intellectual level with anyone I meet, for were it not so, our paths would not have crossed.
If I can embrace the changing me, release my old limiting beliefs, and surrender my fears, I can continue to grow, to express, to connect, and to excel.
May it be so…