Some of us have been blessed to have found a loving significant other. Others of us haven't yet. How do those of us who haven't found our soulmates find them?

Theory number one: Soulmates are a rare find.

We live many lifetimes and most of those lives we don't find our soulmates. In a deep part of ourselves, we remember the experience, but to hope to find our soulmate in this life is foolish. I reject this theory on the basis that it presumes that we are ruled only by fate, and that fate is cruel, placing in us a desire that cannot be fulfilled. If there exists fate, fate is Divine, fate is God, and God is not cruel. Our desires are divine, thus implanted by God, thus achievable.

Theory number two: There are no soulmates.

There are two varieties of this theory. One says the concept of soulmates is utterly fallacious and thus there can be no soulmates; like theory number one, this is not possible as no desire exists in us that cannot be fulfilled. The other variety says that since we're all one, we're all soulmates, so no one special soulmate exists. This makes some degree of sense, but relies too heavily on our Oneness. The truth of our existence is that we are both One and Many. One Plurality. So, yes, we're all connected, but we're also each unique, with unique ideals, traits, desires, etc. The idea then, that we're all soulmates and each equally suited for that special sort of soulmate connection, denies our uniqueness; it denies the Plurality of One Plurality.

Theory number three: We are each our own soulmate.

This theory comes closer to the truth. It's true that we must love and know ourselves before we can truly love and know another, at the level of closeness we think of as soulmates. It's true, but it's but a precursor, a prerequisite, to finding our soulmate. Its truth neither confirms nor denies the existence of soulmates.

Theory number four: We find our soulmate through the law of attraction.

There's some truth in this theory as well, in that the law of attraction can surely help us to attract anything that is desired, believed, and sought. But it too is incomplete. It addresses how we might find our soulmate, but not whether soulmates exist.

Theory number five: We find our soulmate when we stop looking.

Here's another theory with a measure of truth. It's true in that if we seek too strenuously, we're asserting too much ego, too much control, instead of being in the flow, allowing and attracting. If we're truly not looking, we're not desiring, we're not visualizing, and we almost never recognize what we're not looking for.

So, what's the truth? I suppose there's truth in all these theories, and the level of truth varies with the beholder. But clinging too tightly to any one, or even to only a few of these theories creates an atmosphere of myopia. Finding our soulmate is the result of many factors, self-love, faith, acceptance, visualization, action, karma, destiny, and others.

When the lover is ready, the soulmate will appear.

Or so it seems to me...

Love and giggles,