May 19, 2016
Some of my most limiting beliefs are those I discovered and invented myself. Like my idea of how one could achieve greatness. I devised a plausible theory and formula which was based on being in the top two percent in several metrics, skill, persistence, confidence, and diligence. I reasoned that it was pure math. If one could achieve top two percent in all four, they’d be at the level of 1 in 1.6 million, and greatness would follow in their chosen field of endeavor.
This belief became my religion, in essence, and I worked hard to improve myself in the four areas, some easier than others. And I realized some significant success.
But what if I’m missing some crucial aspect I’d not considered? Like my other beliefs, for example? Or faith? Or something else entirely? When I stubbornly followed a limited path, I limited myself and my results.
So now I’m questioning again. Now I’m considering the value of each of my beliefs. Because I know that there are no limits except those limits we place on ourselves. And because I realize that even those beliefs I followed in an attempt to shed old beliefs and transcend limits may have themselves limited me, and may continue to limit me unless I question them and am willing to continue to grow and change.
Why am I not worthy?
Because I am bad. Being bad is not the same as not being good enough. Being not good enough is something that can be cured by doing more good.
Why am I bad? Is it because of what I do? Sometimes, but more often, it is simply who I am; it is the way I was born and the me that simply is.
Is there redemption for the devil? I think not.
But I know this isn’t true. I’m not pure evil. And I’m not pure bad.
So, what’s true? Why am I bad?
I am bad because I am lazy. I don’t work hard enough. I am bad because I have a short fuse and am arrogant. I am bad because I am unattractive, ugly. I am bad because I will never have enough money to pay my bills.
I'm not good, but if I work hard enough I can pretend to be and appear to be good.
Needs to be more like, I was born perfect and I am still perfect. I am, at my very core and essence, good. I need do nothing to earn my rating of "good."
The anxiety comes for the knowing that it's impossible to work hard enough the heal the shame.
Work equals good... is a false belief that's killing me.
Good simply is. And I am. Thus, I am good.
And because I am good, I can choose to work, if I like, and share that goodness.
The new belief is, simply, "I am good."
That will cure the worthiness deficit, for all good things are worthy of goodness.