April 17, 2014 8:46 pm EDT
“You need to learn to stay in the moment,” she said.
I rarely flip my lid, but the culmination of the day’s events made me unusually susceptible, so, yeah, I flipped my lid. “How could I not stay in the moment?” I demanded. “I’m here, aren’t I? And it’s the moment, right? So here I am. In the moment.” I took a step toward her and assumed a menacing stance. "You spend way too much time reading those damned guru books of yours. And how, may I ask, is that staying in the moment?”
She smiled the bullshit knowing smile I’ve grown to hate so much. “I hear that you’re upset, Ted, and it’s okay.”
I took a few short breaths, hoping to calm myself. In my head I told her to go fuck herself. I told her to enjoy her knowing little smile as she looks in the mirror and recites her stupid affirmations. I told her I was done with her patronizing and trying to convert me to a new age wack-job. But I said none of those things. Instead, I smiled my bullshit knowing smile, turned around, and left.
Walking down the sidewalk I heard her scream. “Fuck you, you fucking fucker!” I suppose she lost her knowing smile.