a voice from the bright
speaking to me in my secret language
filling my emptied heart with something like golden hope
i need you
so much
this lost child
this twisty and gnarled soul
come to me holy spirit of god
come and wash me clean and pure with the fiery finger from heaven
i am lost i am confused i am beaten
i am sick of my own small voice
i need your voice
perfect divine alive
to set me aloft
take me father
pull me into your arms
i am wholly unworthy
of your holy rest
and yet, this
is my request
pull me close, my god
my father my savior my holy one my god
sanctify me
purify me
i am utterly struck dumb in my folly
my wits no longer serve me
i don’t know where i am who i am why
i am
and yet, for some reason
here i am
still here
after i BEGGED you to take me up to you
to the third heaven
to your holy trinity
i can find no rest here in this wicked world
as i, your son, am its very most wicked
there is no hope left in me
no love
no joy
come my lord
wash me in the rain of salvation
and then take me away
i need your rest
your power
your love
i am but a poor lost child
left alone, forever
abandoned, as i deserve,
this bad little boy
who has no idea what he did wrong
but be born, and
take the leap
to exist here
for a time
and then
to suffer die and be burned at the stake
and in the blackening coals remaining of me
perhaps
i will finally find
a moment of rest
as you look on
in your perfect holiness
and perhaps
smile
and then
i will know
finally
that i am your son
that i am enough
that i am SAVED
that i am as you made me
my god
my brother
my holiness
my love