Glancing again at the notes
Scrawled hurriedly on a little sheet
From a notepad on my desk
Directions to your house

I wondered
As I'd been wondering
All day. What would this night,
A night I'd hoped for since last October,
What would this night bring?

You made it pretty clear
Those first few times
We'd gotten together
And all those phone calls
That stretched way too far
Into the dark nights
You'd made it clear
That before I could ever hope
To partake in your physical you
That I would have to captivate your mind
Earn the trust of an oft-bruised heart
Connect in a place much deeper
Than mere casual.

So tonight would be the night
Where opportunity might meet desire
Where hope might be lifted in a dance
Of welcome (or perhaps forbidden)
Passion.

Two more left turns...
I remembered so many details
You'd mentioned offhand
In those phone calls
Stretching into the dark nights
As I imagined
A dark green nightshirt
Pulling
The green from your blue-green eyes
Highlighting
Golden splotches
I imagined
Your bare legs
Smooth
Feminine
So many nights
Desires
Moved me
And every night
I pulled back
Honored your wishes
Honored your desires
While setting aside mine

Another left...
Fourth house on the right
Your car in the driveway
The porch light is burning
I breathe in deep
As my wanting increases
Embers that have smoldered
For so very long

Pulling into your driveway
I turn down the music
A CD by Alanis Morissette
I will the butterflies to stop
Remind myself to breathe
Breathe
Memories flooding
Conversations
Feelings
Desire
Wanting
Reminding
Breathe
Breathe

Walking up to the door
Wanting to turn and run
Playing a thousand scenarios
Through an already crowded mind
I hear the sound of the bell
From inside the modest one-story home
Realize my hand moved without conscious thought
Music
Latin

Thirty seconds
Apprehension growing
Are you okay?
I look at my watch
7:52
Only eight minutes early
Forty-five seconds
It's Tuesday, right?
Yes
Definitely
Sixty seconds
Ring the bell again
Take a breath
The music inside isn't that loud
Or maybe it is
Maybe you don't hear the bell
I'll send you a text message

Glancing in the windows
To the left and right of the doors
Not wanting to be a voyeur
I look at your car
Yes.
This is the right house
Breathe

There you are!
Oh shit.
In a towel
Instant arousal
Shit
Wow
A huge smile
A huge bulge
You pick up your cell from the table
Next to a chocolate brown couch
Jump half a foot when you look to the door
Here I am
Wow

It's all happening too fast
I'm overwhelmed
Questions
Memories
A green towel
Pulling the green from your eyes
Opening the door
Damn
I remind myself yet again
Breathe

The hellos are short
We've been best friends for months
And never has there been this level of passion
Desire
Maybe it's that we're here in your house
Maybe it's your eyes
Or your wet legs
I can't help but look
You hug me
Wow

I'm overwhelmed in the scents
The sensations
The wet towel
A deep hug
A gaze
I'm lost
In an instant
And I sense
That you're lost, too

A few words
Lost in the meaninglessness
Confused about the time
Doesn't matter
I'm early, you're late
Neither is the case
All is perfect
In the warm wetness of this embrace
More intimate than we've ever been
Accelerating hearts
Needs
Desires
Shit
Wow
I'm lost
Breathe
Breathe

It feels as if we've been standing here for hours
But I'm sure it's been but seconds
A few seconds
And I'm lost in the golden splotches
In the deep and subtle greens
Of your deep blue-green eyes
The eyes I have seen on a hundred occasions
But the eyes I have never seen like this
I hear myself screaming
Joy and fear and accelerating overwhelmingness
Chemical reactions
So worth the wait
Breathe

I've wanted you for so very long
But never like this
In an instant I finally understand
This passion is true and deep
So good that we waited
But the wait was over
We both knew what was to come
Instants of shared and nodding desire
And those words
Forever etched in my mind
Your words to me
"Make love to me."

I tell myself it's not a dream
You are here with me
And you want me as badly and as perfectly
As I want you
A gentle tug
I follow you
Your bedroom
A patchwork quilt
Expansive windows

I stand in awe
Admiring your form
Your motions
Your feminine perfection
As you pull the cord to close the curtains
Light two candles
On decorative stands
Ample light
You turn off the overhead light
Gently tug your towel
Release it
Let it fall to the floor

You are a goddess
I am struck by the power you have over me
My need is instant and complete
I must have you
I simply must
There is no thought required
Though my thoughts agree
And my heart follows
As passion leads
And I approach
The temple of your holy alabaster perfection

A moment of fear
That I will be truly lost in your imprisoning gaze
Dismissed
By a willing essence
By the fateful rejoining
Two souls will again be one
I quiet the thoughts
The raging river of my passion
Meets the shore of your surrender
I am your captor
And your forever servant
As we are lost
In a first kiss

Our tongues are familiar
From the first movements
Form the first touch
As they move and writhe and dance
I realize that your breasts are on my chest
I'm lost and found and overwhelmed in overtaking you
And being overtaken
In the moment
In the fire
In the familiar perfection
This is right
This is good
I am yours
If you will have me
I know
I am yours

As our tongues continue the dance
My hands begin to explore
Your hands are unbuckling my belt
I open my eyes
Your eyes are a brilliant blue
I feel you unsnapping my pants
My hands behind you
Feeling the perfect curves of your ass
I have never felt
Such a perfect storm
Of longing, need, passion, love, unity, fire, fire, fire, flame

A moan
Another
Mine
Yours
Indistinguishable
Your fingers find my cock
Lips locked
Tongues dancing new dances
I am yours
Now and forever
Shit
Wow
Passion
"I love you"

My pants are on the floor
Boxer briefs
Kicked aside
I pull off my shirt
Nudge you gently
Onto the bed
"I need you"
My fingers find your clit
There is a violence in the perfect calm
An utter and unforeseen urgency
I need to be inside you
My fingers sample your wetness
Your tongue teaches
My heart learns
My fingers lead
Your muscles contract, relax, contract

Conflicted
I want to go slow for you
I want bring you to crippling heights
But I need you
The urgency is growing
Groaning
I'm inside you
I'm weeping
Never before
Wow
My hands under your ass
Guiding gently
Kissing you deeply
Thrusting
Slowly
Intensely
Intently
A tear drips to your cheek
You put your finger to my lips
And smile
I'm yours
I'm in love
Completely

Thrusting
Rhythmically
Strong
Pulling
Pushing
Your contractions
Perfect dance
Tongues
Fingers
Exploring
Finding
Thrusting
Faster
Wet
Warmer
Motions
Feelings
Involvement
Shudders
Trembling
Freezing cold
Burning hot
Fire
Ice
Dance
Tongues
Lust
Love
One
Moving
Rocking, swaying, thrusting, pulsing
"I love you"

A gush
Tears
Tremors
Spasms
Screams
Hearts
Filled
Heat
Fire
Pulsing
Moaning
One
Glowing
Light
Brilliance
Slowing

So many thoughts
Leading to the core
Of love, passion, peace, joining, heat
Intense love
Intense
I remind myself again
Breathe

I'm lost in the moment
In the green brilliance of your eyes
In the gilded splotches
Alive in the passion
One in true love

The Latin music ends
The calm silence
Smiling
On two lovers
Become one